Jushiro Ukitake Q&A
by SayurixGin
Summary: HIATUS More than just a Q&A with Captain Jushiro Ukitake!  Submit your dares, truths, questions, gifts, whatever!
1. Intro

**Introduction**

**Author**: Hey guys! This is the Q&A for Jushiro Ukitake. I feel that he deserves more recognition, so he gets a whole Q&A fanfic to himself :D

And it's not just Q&A...send in truths, dares, anything!

If this goes well I'd be more than willing to make more Q&A's for other Bleach characters.

Anyway, Jushiro, say hi to the general audience of readers!

**Jushiro**: Hi everyone! I'm Jushiro Ukitake, nice to meet you all.

**Author**: Since we both don't really have anything to say, I'm going to ask you a truth question.

**Jushiro**: Okay.

**Author**: If Captain Kurotsuchi is such a good scientist, how come he hasn't cured your tuberculosis yet? Sorry, for bringing it up.

**Jushiro**: That's okay. I'm not sure, really; he's kind of sensitive whenever he's asked about his cure. I think he's working on it.

**Author**: Hopefully readers will send in their questions (and more :D) so they don't have to put up with my lame truths! Or I will haunt you in the bathroom and in your sleep...muahahahaha...

**Jushiro**: The bathroom?

**Author**: Sorry, I just happen to be near the bathroom. Anyway, bye guys!

**Jushiro**: Bye! :)


	2. Session 1

**AN**: Thanks guys for reviewing so fast!

**Shinitzue (yay, first reviewer!)**

**FS2011 the real one (I bet you're just too lazy to log in. But thanks anyway :)**

**RainingSun (my most loyal and helpful reviewer :D )**

**BTW, guys, this is my first time doing something like this. In my opinion, it's pretty crappy. So review and help me out! :D  
**

**Session 1**

**Author: **Hey guys! I'm going to let Sayuri (my OC from my fanfic "Little Lily Soul Reaper and the Protector") take over being the...ummm...I don't know what to call this job. Anyway, she'll be asking the questions and giving dares and stuff. Have fun!

**Sayuri**: Okay, thank you, author. Hi everyone!

**Jushiro**: Hi guys!

**Sayuri**: So, Jushiro, you already have two questions (one is a truth) and a dare. Wow! You must be popular.

Here's your first one from **Shinitzue**:

"Yay I've been wanting one of these! I just adore Ukitake ^^ So heres my question for Uki. I know that your hair turned white due to your illness so what I want to know is what was your original hair color?"

**Jushiro: **Thanks Shinitzue! I've never had anyone adore me before ^^ My original hair color was black. Once in my childhood, I had an coughing attack and in three days, my hair turned white for some reason. However, my eyebrows stayed black.

**Sayuri**: How about hair on other parts of your body?

**Jushiro**: Ummm...I'd rather not talk about that.

**Sayuri**: Okay, you have a dare from **FS2011 the real one**:

"Oh oh! Pick me! I have a dare!

to Jyuu-chan:

I dare you to go play a prank on Soi Fon! Yes! Pretty pls!

Also, Good story, SayurixGin! Awes!"

**Jushiro**: A prank? But...what am I supposed to do?

**Sayuri**: *sigh*...Jushiro, have you EVER pulled a prank on someone before?

**Jushiro**: ...no.

**Sayuri**: Fine. Then I'll tell you what to do. *whispers*

**Jushiro**: But that's really mean!

**Sayuri**: If you don't, I'll tell Retsu that you like her.

**Jushiro**: *blushes* but I don't!

**Sayuri**: Aww, you're so cute when you're embarassed. Well, are you going to do it or not?

**Jushiro**: Oh fine...*flash steps away to do his dare*

In the Soul Society:

**Soifon**: It's time for a break. Omaeda, get your fat bottom over here and finish the paperwork. I'll be back in an hour and it better be done. Understand?

**Omaeda**: *Yawn* Why am I always the one so overworked around here? *Moves grudgingly towards the table, sits down, and pretends to be doing paperwork*

Soifon walks out the office and shuts the door. She goes to her barracks.

**Soifon**: **ARGHHHHH! What the?** **Why is there shaving cream all over my floor?** You, get over here and clean this up! I'm going back to my office.

**Soifon**: *Kicks office door, intending to slam it open* WHY DOESN'T THE DOOR OPEN? OMAEDA!

**Omaeda: **What?

**Soifon**:OPEN THE DOOR!

**Omaeda: ***trudges to door and pulls on it. It's unlocked but doesn't budge.*

*After an hour of trying to break the door down*

**Omaeda**: **Crush it, Gegetsuburi!**

*Swings Gegetsuburi at the door...it doesn't budge and a little wood just chips off. A small crack forms in Gegetsuburi.*

**Soifon**: This is ridiculous! Fine. Swing your Zanpakuto at the same time I fire my kido. **Hado 31, Shakkaho!**

*The combined force of Soifon's Shakkaho and Gegetsuburi finally breaks the door in half. However, the bottom half of the door is somehow stuck to the floor. Soifon looks under the door.*

**Soifon**: What is this stuff? *picks at the stuff cemented under the door* WHO PUT EXPANDABLE FOAM UNDER THE DOOR? I'LL KILL ANYONE WHO DID THIS!

Jushiro flash steps back to Sayuri.

**Jushiro**: Okay, I did my dare.

**Sayuri**: *has a screen in front of her where she watched the whole thing* Hehehehe. Good job Jushiro! Might want to stay away from Soifon for a while, though. Anyway, here's your next one from **RainingSun:**

"Yay! A Q&A just for Jushiro!~

I has a truth question!

Why do you keep giving Toushiro candy? ...Where do you get all the candy, anyway? It must get expensive."  
**  
Jushiro**: I like giving people candy! It makes them look happy most of the time and cheers them up. Besides, who doesn't like unexpected huge amounts of gifts? Toshiro's still a little boy, even though he's a captain, and he has white hair like me. And his name has "shiro" in it too! He's really cute, but he's so stern most of the time. A young boy like him should cheer up.

Oh, I usually go to the World of the Living when I buy candy. It's cheaper in some of the stores there then in the Soul Society. And if you nicely ask Mayuri, he'll give you a lot of his experimental candy. It sounds scary, but it's actually all normal candy. Stay away from the apple-flavored candy, though. It's poisonous.

**Sayuri**: Er...okay. I'm just going to not take anything from Mayuri. Anyway, that's all for today. Thanks everyone, and see you next time!

**Jushiro**: Bye everyone!


	3. Session 2

**AN: Hey everyone, thanks for the reviews and dares/truths! :) Review so I have something to write about! And it's late at night here, so bear with me if the story gets boring. I'll edit it later if it's too bad, but tomorrow I have a lot of stuff to do until the evening :(**

**Session 2**

**Sayuri: **Hey guys! We're back, and with a few more questions! Oh, and my pet hamster, too.

**Jushiro**: He's adorable, but he bites. Ouchie :(

**Sayuri:** *rolls eyes* Guys are such wimps. I mean, come on, you face monsters on a daily basis and you can't handle a hamster bite? Okay, anyway, here's your next question from **NirielAcaerin** (interesting name!):

"Hi! Raika here! Hm, what should I ask? Oh! Juchan, why are you always drinking tea? I know it helps your throat and all, but... , It can't be too good for you to always drink tea..."

**Jushiro: **Hello to you too Raika! Well, as you know, we Japanese people do drink a lot of tea, especially green tea, on a daily basis. I usually put some powder in my tea from Retsu that calms my coughing. Also, tea makes me feel relaxed and cozy. I'm rather weak as well so I don't drink sake or any other alcohol. Since tea's basically water and plant essence, it's okay to drink a lot of it unless it's very strong (and I prefer weaker teas that you can savor). Thank you for your concern though, I appreciate it very much! ^^

**Sayuri**: Wow, Jushiro, I never knew you were such an expert on teas. Can you teach me to brew some later?

**Jushiro**: Sure, I'd be very happy to!

**Sayuri**: Okay, now for the next question from **Flirty Angel**:

"Got it! i didn't have a question to ask last chapter so here it goes.

"Mr. Ukitake Do you ever get tired of being portrayed as a women or gay in other fan fics?

Just putting it out there ya know bye"

**Jushiro**: ...I actually had no idea I was being portrayed like that in other fanfiction. Now that I do know, though, I would like to tell you all that I'm not gay. And I'm most definitely a man, not a woman. Thank you for informing me!

**Sayuri**: Jushiro, you're actually pretty popular. I think people portray you as gay because of you giving candy to Toshiro all the time and being close to Shunsui and all...

**Jushiro**: Toshiro's a little kid, what's wrong with giving him gifts? And Shunsui and I have been very close friends for a long time. It doesn't mean we're gay or anything...*blushes*...I think this is a very uncomfortable subject.

**Sayuri**: Okay, moving on, Jushiro. Last one's from **FS2011 the real one** (yay for finally logging in lol! :D):

"Okey, I logged in!

In any case, that was epic! I love how innocent Jyuu-chan was, and how Soi Fon reacted to the prank! In any case, good story! Now, for my dare...

TO Jyuu-chan

I dare you to go spike Kenpachi's drink and then take a picture to prove it! Come on, I'm sure you want to!

Awesome story! Keep it up!"

**Jushiro**: Um, what exactly do I have to put in Kenpachi's drink?

**Sayuri**: Just put some alcoholic drink it it. Then take pictures of you slipping it in and of Kenpachi afterwards.

**Jushiro**: ...you do know that Kenpachi gets very violent and strange when he drinks even a little alcohol?

**Sayuri**: I think that's why you just got dared to do it.

**Jushiro**: Fine, but I am not responsible for any damages. Definitely not.

**Sayuri**: Okay, go do it!

*Jushiro flash steps off to the 11th division*

**Jushiro**: Why, hello there, Kenpachi! Where are you going?

**Kenpachi**: Hey Jushiro. I'm going with some of my squad for a drink and then some sparring. Wanna come?

**Jushiro**: Er, I'm free right now, so sure, I'll go. But I thought you didn't drink.

**Kenpachi**: *turns red and shudders* Of course I'm not. They're drinking.

*everyone walks to a local restaurant/bar and sits down*

**Random squad member: **Hey, bring us two bottles of warm sake!

*Sake and cups are served. While everyone drinks, Jushiro and Kenpachi sit awkwardly.*

**Jushiro: **Could I have some tea, please? Oh, and Kenpachi, would you like to try some tea? It's very good here.

*Kenpachi grudgingly nods, and tea is served.*

**Jushiro**: Here, give me your tea. I know how to cool it down just right. You hate hot stuff, don't you?

**Kenpachi**: Of course I do, it's bloody annoying.

*When Kenpachi looks away, Jushiro quickly takes out a tiny vial of sake and pours it in his tea, taking a picture quickly as he does so*

**Jushiro**: Here you go!

**Kenpachi**: *sips* Perfect temperature, thanks.

*Five minutes later*

**Kenpachi**: *fly buzzes around his head* Damn fly, someone KILL IT!

**Squad member**: Captain, is something wrong?

**Kenpachi: ***stands up and promptly falls down, breaking the chair he was sitting on*

**Squad: **CAPTAIN! *someone goes to assist Kenpachi*

**Kenpachi**: *gives a death glare* Did I ask you to help me? Huh? Get the hell out of my face!

**Squad member**: Uh, okay, I'm sorry captain.

**Kenpachi**: Where's the fly? *buzzzzzz...* *unsheathes Zanpakuto*

**Kenpachi**: I WILL KILL YOU! ARGHHHH! *Runs around swinging randomly, breaking everything in his way. Everyone flees and Jushiro hides outside, watching.*

**Jushiro**: I think this has gone far enough. Kenpachi, come with me, please. You should get back to your barracks.

**Kenpachi**: I'm not going back! I need to kill the fly!

**Jushiro**: *sighs* I promise to take care of it if you go back to your barracks with me. Okay?

**Kenpachi**: ...fine.

*Jushiro grabs Kenpachi's hand and flash steps off with him back to the 11th barracks*

**Jushiro**: Here we are.

**Kenpachi**: I DON'T WANNA GO.

**Jushiro**: Uh oh. I knew this would happen.

*Kenpachi plops down on the ground and starts crying*

**Jushiro**: What's wrong, Kenpachi?

**Kenpachi**: *sobbing* I want my stuffed animal!

**Jushiro**: Stuffed animal? I would think Yachiru would have one with her...and speaking of which, why haven't I seen her all day? Isn't she always with you?

**Kenpachi**: *sobs harder* She's deserted me to go to Byakuya's squad and steal their fish!

**Jushiro**: Ah, I see. Now, what stuffed animal are you looking for?

**Kenpachi**: My favorite one! It's a mummy!

**Jushiro**: A mummy? Really? Where did you even get that?

**Kenpachi**: Yachiru gave it to me for my 100th birthday! *sniffs*

**Jushiro**: Um, okay, so where is it?

**Kenpachi**: I think it's on my bed.

**Jushiro**: *sighs* Then let's go to your room. *flash steps off with Kenpachi again and finds his barracks*

**Jushiro**: Here's your stuffed animal—er, mummy. I didn't know they sold pink stuffed mummies with sparkly wrappings though...

**Kenpachi**: *grabs the weird object, collapses on the bed, and starts snoring*

**Jushiro**: Whew. Now that's over, it's time to go back. Let's see, I'll take a picture now. *flash*

*back with Sayuri*

**Jushiro**: Here are your pictures. I'm exhausted, now let me go sleep and tell my conscience to be quiet.

**Sayuri**: Hehe. Okay, thanks for being a good sport, Jushiro. Bye everyone and see you next time!

**Jushiro**: Good bye everybody. And please, PLEASE do not tell me to do that again. Ever.


	4. Session 3

**Session 3**

**Sayuri**: Thanks for sticking with us, guys! Jushiro's a tiny bit under the weather today but he'll be fine.

**Jushiro**: *cough* Hi everyone!

**Sayuri**: All right, now for your first dare from **Zoria **(thank you! :D)**  
**

"I love your Q and A! Jushiro, so innocent...Well, I request you to dare him to kiss Ise Nanao in front of Kyouraku and Unohana *devious grin* (Insert evil music here)"

Hehehe. Okay, Jushiro, do it!

**Jushiro**: WHAT? But...but...

**Sayuri**: No excuses, Jushiro. You have to do it :D

**Jushiro**: But...even if I have to, I...I don't know how to kiss!

**Sayuri**: *blinks* You've never kissed before?

**Jushiro**: Uh, no. *blush*

**Sayuri**: *sigh* I would've expected that you had a girlfriend by now...okay, but no one takes classes on how to kiss or anything. I mean normally. So just do it.

**Jushiro**: Why is everybody torturing me so much? *flash steps off reluctantly*

**Sayuri**: Okay, this should be extremely interesting. *follows secretly*

**Jushiro**: Where will I find Nanao? She's probably with Shunsui... *flash steps off to Shunsui's barracks* Oh, hi there, Shunsui! Where's Nanao?

**Shunsui**: Hey there, Jushiro! Looking for little Nanao, eh? She's at the 4th division with Retsu.

**Jushiro: ***...was this planned or something?* Okay...I need to talk to her. Would you like to come?

**Shunsui**: Sure, I've got nothing to do. *Follows Jushiro to the 4th squad*

**Jushiro**: Oh, hi Nanao, hi Retsu.

**Retsu: **Hello, Jushiro and Shunsui! Do you need something?

**Jushiro**: Um, no, nothing at all. *Steps forward and awkwardly places lips on Nanao's*

**Nanao: ?**

**Retsu: !**

**Shunsui: Huh?**

**Jushiro**: *steps away blushing and then panics* Shunsui, let me explain! Put away your Zanpakuto, just listen to me! This was just a dare! From evil reviewers!

**Shunsui**: A dare?

**Jushiro**: Yes, I didn't mean anything by it! I'm really sorry, Nanao.

**Nanao**: Er...that's all right, captain. Not to be rude or anything, but have you ever kissed before?

**Jushiro**: Um, no. Is it that obvious?

**Nanao**: *Rubs bruised nose* Yes.

**Jushiro**: Oh...sorry. And Retsu, sorry you had to see that. The dare specifically said that Shunsui and you had to be present.

**Retsu**: *In an incredibly sweet tone* Oh, I see. In that case it's fine. So, are you taking that medicine I gave you, Jushiro? 

**Jushiro**: *Uh oh...* Which medicine?

**Retsu:** You know what I'm talking about.

**Jushiro**: *backs away* It tastes terrible!

**Retsu**: Come here, you've got to take that medicine! *Drags Jushiro off protesting*

**Shunsui**: Hehe. Looks like Jushiro's gonna be in trouble.

*A few hours later back in the studio*

**Sayuri**: There, I have a few pictures now! Oh, hi there, Jushiro! Are you all right?

**Jushiro**: Are you joking? I was almost attacked by Retsu and Shunsui, and I got terrible-tasting medicine forced down my throat!

**Sayuri**: Well, the medicine was for your own good, Jushiro. *In mind: that was hilarious :D Looks like Retsu has a crush on Jushiro!*

**Jushiro**: ...why are you grinning like that, Sayuri?

**Sayuri**: Hm? Oh, it's nothing. Anyway, let's see: questions and dare from **RunningLion**:

"so jushiro, i have a couple of questions and a dare:

1. Whats your favorite movie?

2. Your thoughts on the series thus far?

3. Are there people older than the captain general in soul society?

4. What do you think of Gin?

Now the dare: you have to use your shikai to chop up fish at red lobster.

okay i'm done, by!"

**Jushiro**: Hm, favorite movie? I honestly haven't watched many movies before. Sorry, I don't know yet. If you mean Bleach, then I think it's great, because we're in it! ^^ I wish it wouldn't have so many embarrassing things in it, though. I mean, we deserve a little privacy sometimes. Let's see: nope, there isn't anyone older than Head Captain Yamamoto. As for Gin, I think he was a very noble man to sacrifice so much and be labeled as a traitor and evil mastermind just to get rid of the worst evil we have faced so far. He will never be forgotten, and I wish he had been healed in time. However, we cannot reverse what has already passed. As for your dare, um...where's Red Lobster?

**Sayuri**: It's a really great restaurant in the World of the Living, even though you have to wait forever sometimes. Come on, let's go! *flash steps off with him* Okay, here we are at Red Lobster. Release your Zanpakuto, please.

**Jushiro**: *sigh* Forgive me, Sogyo no Kotowari. *releases Zanpakuto*

**Sayuri**: All right, get into this gigai.

**Jushiro**: Huh? But I can't use my Zanpakuto in my gigai!

**Sayuri**: This one's special. It's a prototype by Mayuri.

**Jushiro**: I hope it's safe...*gets in gigai*

**Sayuri**: Okay, I'll get you hired. I know the manager of this restaurant. *Talks to manager and gets Jushiro hired* He has a special ability for chopping fish with that. *points to Zanpakuto*

**Manager**: Really? That's a very odd knife, but that's all right. Follow me.

*In the kitchen*

**Manager**: You need to slice this salmon into pieces about this big. *shows an example* Got it?

**Jushiro**: All right.

**Manager: **Okay, let me see how you do.

**Jushiro**: *This is terrible. I can't believe I'm using my Zanpakuto to chop fish!* *Takes fish and stares for a minute before chopping quickly*

**Manager**: O.o

**Jushiro**: Um...so is this okay?

**Manager**: That. Was. Amazing! You should be a master chef! You can chop so fast and accurately!

*****Three hours later, back with Sayuri*

**Jushiro**: My wrist hurts from chopping fish. Besides, now I smell like it, too.

**Sayuri**: Well, you did discover a new talent!

**Jushiro**: ...I think my Zanpakuto will murder me in my sleep.

**Sayuri**: Why?

**Jushiro**: Sogyo no Kotowari means "Law of the Twin Fish," remember?

**Sayuri**: What does that have to do with anything...oh. *in mind: hehehehehe*

**Jushiro**: I mean it. I'll either be dead from them murdering me or forcing me to play games until I drop.

**Sayuri**: Aw, come on, they're kids after all! Anyway, here's a dare from **FS2011 the real one** (thank you for reviewing again! And thanks for the compliment!):

"Okie dokey. Now, for my dare!

To Jyuu-chan: :)

I dare you to go read a fanfiction protraying you as a woman adn then come and tell all the happy readers what you think of it and the pairing inside the story!

And to SayurixGin : awesome story :)"

**Jushiro**: Uh...could you find one please? Not sure how to find a story like that...

**Sayuri**: Jushiro, you HAVE to do that dare.

**Jushiro**: I will, I will, just please tell me which one to read. Thank you and sorry for delaying, happy readers!

**Sayuri**: Your last one from **Colleen Sotac**:

"kay, well i heard that you like to eat candy so...what would you do if i drove up to you in a big black van and asked,"why don't you climb in the back...i have candy" sorry, im kind of a creeper xD"

**Jushiro**: O.o

**Sayuri**: ...Jushiro?

**Jushiro**: Wait, I'm trying to remember what you're supposed to do if that happens!

**Sayuri**: -.-

**Jushiro**: Um...I know! I'd say "thank you very much!" and get in the back! After all, someone so nice should be appreciated, right?

**Sayuri**: Uh, Jushiro, we call those kinds of vans "danger" vans. That's a trick to kidnap you.

**Jushiro**: But I'm not a kid!

**Sayuri**: Oh, yeah, that's right. But anyway, you're supposed to stay AWAY from those. Okay?

**Jushiro**: Okay.

**Sayuri**: Anyway, that's all for today! Thanks for all the subscriptions, and remember to review!


	5. Session 4

**AN: Sorry for the extremely late posting! :'( Crappy chapter, but I've got TONS of homework. **

**Session 4**

**Sayuri**: Okay, we'll start this session off with—Jushiro, what is the matter?

**Jushiro**: *sniff* My stuffed animal died.

**Sayuri**: Excuse me?

**Jushiro**: *holds up mangled unidentified plushie* Look, he died.

**Sayuri**: I won't ask why you still have a plushie...or why it has a gender...or any of the other questions I really want to ask...but anyway, here's our first question from **Kiwi****-****kiw****i****-k****i****i**:

"Yay! How CUTE! ok, so, um ... H-hi Ukitake-sama! So, for my question - if you had to substitute your zanpaktou for another, what sword would you choose? Also, do you think that Ichigo should tottaly be in the Gotei 13, or what? Oh, and here's a present for you! *gives Ukitake a giant stuffed penguin* Um, well, that's it for now! Bye, Ukitake-sama :D"

**Jushiro**: YAY! What a cute penguin ^^ *hugs giant stuffed penguin* Oh, er, sorry. Thanks for the questions! No need to be all formal and call me Ukitake-sama. Let's see, what Zanpakuto would I choose? Er, that's a really difficult question, but probably Shunsui's Zanpakuto because we both have dual-Zanpakuto. Besides, I know most about its abilities than any other Zanpakuto. As for Ichigo, I do agree with you. His skills are that of a captain, but since he has no Kido abilities, he might not pass the exam. Also, since he is still a human, we cannot allow him to be a member of the Gotei 13. If he were a full Shinigami, I would most definitely approve of his entrance.

**Sayuri**: That was a long explanation, Jushiro.

**Jushiro**: Really? Oh, sorry.

**Sayuri**: Okay, now that Jushiro's happy about his plushie replacement, we'll continue to the next one from **RunningLion**:

"omg i had no idea thats what Sogyo no Kotowari meant! ah i still wouldve dared him even if i knew it. anyways i have a new dare! jushiro, you must give full body massagess to Orihime, Neliel, Rangiku, and Halibel. Sayuri you can already tell how this is torture for shiro right?"

*evil chuckle* Oh yes, I definitely can tell. Go on, Jushiro.

**Jushiro**: *O.o*

**Sayuri**: *sigh* Come on. *grabs Jushiro and whisks him off*

**Jushiro**: Hey, wait!

*they arrive at Rangiku's office, where she is drinking on a couch instead of working*

**Rangiku**: Oh, hey there! What are you two doing here?

**Sayuri**: Jushiro got dared to give you a full body massage.

**Rangiku**: Really? Okay, then, you might have to make it a little short though. The captain's coming back in about half an hour.

**Jushiro**: *gulp* Rangiku, are you sure you don't mind?

**Rangiku**: Why, not at all! I'm actually rather tense from working too hard. Since we're in the office, it doesn't have to be all fancy.

*Rangiku happily lies down on the couch. Jushiro awkwardly starts rubbing her shoulders.*

**Rangiku: **Ahh...that feels good. Hey, you're supposed to keep going!

**Jushiro**: *blush* Um...

*quickly passes over Rangiku's hips*

**Jushiro**: C-can you turn over now?

**Rangiku**: Sure! *flops over*

**Jushiro**: *massages arms and neck* Okay, I'm done.

**Rangiku**: *opens an eye* You're supposed to start from my breastbone now.

**Jushiro**: *turns crimson* I can't.

**Rangiku**: Come on, don't be such a prude!

**Jushiro**: No, I mean—I just can't!

**Rangiku**: *grabs Jushiro's hand and forces it to her—er, chest.*

**Sayuri**: Hehe. *snaps picture*

*door opens*

**Toshiro**: Rangiku, where are you...! *jaw drop*

**Rangiku: ***sits up*

**Jushiro**: *falls backward* IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK! *waves hands*

**Toshiro**: ...Rangiku, I need to talk to you.

*room slowly gets covered in solid ice*

**Sayuri**: *whisks Jushiro away* That was fun. *evil grin*

**Jushiro**: ...please don't do this to me...

**Sayuri**: Sorry, you still have to massage Orihime, Neliel, and Tia Harribel. *grabs Jushiro and goes to the World of the Living* Hey, Orihime!

**Orihime: **Oh, hi! Captain Ukitake?

**Sayuri**; He was dared to give you a full-body massage.

**Orihime**: ...*blushes bright red* I-it's okay, captain! You don't need to do your dare. I'll be going now! *runs off*

**Sayuri**: Hmph. She ruined all the fun. Well, it looks like you were spared.

**Jushiro**: *hugs penguin plushie*

**Sayuri**: ...were you carrying that the whole time?

**Jushiro**: Mm-hm.

**Sayuri**: Ooookkay. Anyway, let's get over to Hueco Mundo.

**Jushiro**: I'm going to die before this is over...

*Hueco Mundo*

**Sayuri**: Hey there, Tia!

**Tia Harribel**: What are you two doing here in Hueco Mundo? Aren't you soul reapers?

**Sayuri**: Well, yes, as a matter of fact, but Jushiro here was dared to give you a massage.

**Tia**: Hm, technically I should be killing you right now, but that man is certainly quite handsome. I'll allow you to come in.

**Jushiro**: Why doesn't anyone give me a break...

**Sayuri**: Come on, Jushiro. *drags him along*

*****In Tia's room*

**Tia**: You there, please leave the room.

**Sayuri**: Hm? Me? Why?

**Tia**: LEAVE. *death glare*

**Sayuri**: O-okay...bye Jushiro! See you at the studio! *exits room* Hehe. No way I'm missing this. *peeks through door and faints...*

***CENSORED***

Two hours later at the studio...

**Jushiro**: h-hi Sayuri...

**Sayuri**: What exactly did Tia do to you?

**Jushiro**: n-nothing...

**Sayuri**: Then why was that last part censored?

**Jushiro**: *blush* NOTHING HAPPENED!

**Sayuri**: Riiiight...okay, so did you find Neliel?

**Jushiro**: Nope. She's apparently off somewhere in the World of the Living and no one knows where she is. *Hell Butterfly lands on Jushiro's finger* Oh, wait, I have to go. Captain's meeting in twenty minutes.

**Sayuri**: Hold on a minute, Mr. Innocent, here's your next one from **Colleen Sotac**:

"heheh thanks for posting my last review but anyay...i dare you, Jushiro Ukitake, to yell out,"Brüllen! Brüllen! Fürchten Sie mich!" at the next captains meeting and then run away. if ya wanna know what it means just look it up on yahoo babelfish. its german."

**Jushiro**: *sigh* There must really be some kind of conspiracy behind this.

**Sayuri**: ...Well, at least this one's not too bad, is it?

**Jushiro**: I suppose so.

*Captain's meeting*

**Head Captain**: And that is all for our captain's meeting today...

**Jushiro**: *deep breath* **Brüllen! Brüllen! Fürchten Sie mich! ***runs away*

**Captains**: O.o

**Shunsui**: ...another dare?

**Byakuya**: I did not know that Captain Ukitake took an extracurricular course at the Academy in human languages.

**Toshiro**: I do believe Captain Ukitake is not in his best condition lately.

**Shunsui**: Is that so? I was wondering about you, actually. It seems the whole 10th Division barracks is covered in solid ice. Anything wrong?

**Toshiro**: ...It's nothing for you to be concerned about.

*Studio*

**Sayuri**: Nice work!

**Jushiro**: That wasn't as bad as I expected...well, compared to the other dares. I think I'm starting to develop a resistance to embarrassment or something.

**Sayuri**: It's called being less shy. Hey, you still have two more to go through. Remember? You first have to read a fanfic portraying you as a woman!

**Jushiro**: I'm going to die by the end of this day. At least all I have to do is read and tell you my reaction. Correct?

**Sayuri**: Yup, that's all. Now, let's find a fanfic for you to read. *browses through hundreds of stories* Ah, got one ^^

*While reading:*

**Jushiro**: ^^

**Jushiro: **?

**Jushiro:** O.O

**Jushiro**: O.o

**Jushiro**: :O

**Jushiro**: D:

**Jushiro**: ^.^'

**Jushiro**: x.x

*Thirty minutes later*

**Sayuri**: Well?

**Jushiro**: Just one thing to tell everyone...I'M NOT A WOMAN!

**Sayuri**: Hehehehe. Anything else?

**Jushiro**: ...ouch. Am I really that womanly?

**Sayuri**: Maybe. Or it's just because you're so cute and handsome that fans have to change you into a girl!

**Jushiro**: I don't understand the reasoning behind that.

**Sayuri**: One day you will...*evil chuckle* Okay, anyway, your last one from **PENNNY2009**:

"I love how Jushiro is all innocent :D. Its actually very adorable :) 3 . So I have a questions for you Ukitake-taichou. If you can switch with anyone life for 1 day, who would it be? Also, do you have any hidden talents? Now for a dare, I dare you to slap byakuya's bum :). I wish you good luck on the dare :)"

I know, isn't he cute?

**Jushiro**: Thank you! Hm...I would probably switch with the Head Captain for a day. I always did wonder what it would be like as the Captain-Commander, with all the duties and responsibilities and all. Besides, I want to know how strong his body really is. He's amazing ^^

**Sayuri**: Uh, strange choice, Jushiro. Now do the dare!

**Jushiro**: Let's see...I have to...uh-oh.

**Sayuri**: What's the matter?

**Jushiro**: I've known Byakuya since he was a child. He certainly still keeps his old temper, you know.

**Sayuri**: Your point?

**Jushiro**: *sigh* I'll do it, but it's all your fault if half of Seireitei gets destroyed.

**Sayuri**: I think you might be exaggerating.

*One slap later*

**Byakuya: O.O…GET OVER HERE!**

*Massive wave of spiritual energy*

**Jushiro**: Oh really, was I exaggerating?

**Sayuri**: *sweat* Okay, you weren't.

*Buildings everywhere are crushed*

**Sayuri**: You know what? Let's get back to the studio where we're safe.

*Studio*

**Jushiro**: Whew.

**Sayuri**: Second that. All right, that's definitely enough for today.

**Jushiro**: Bye everyone! *weak wave*

*Faintly: **UKITAKE!***

**Everyone**: Uh-oh.


	6. Session 5

**AN: I am SO SORRY for not posting so long! I promise to be better!**

**Also, I have so many reviews to keep up with that it's getting hard. Would you like shorter chapters more often and have me do not all the reviews, or have longer chapters less often and all the reviews?**

**Session 5**

**Sayuri**: Ah, it was nice having a break from this job.

**Jushiro**: Ah, it was nice not being abused by cruel readers.

**Sayuri**: Too bad, because you've got plenty to make up for them! Here's a dare from **Sweet-Cool-Twins **(you have the cutest avatar ever! :3):

**"**Ohayo shiro-san(I like to call jushiro that since...toushiro's nickname is..)here's a dare for you. I can't think of any qustion right now so, I dare you to tell sou-taicho that you want to join aizen's group. Then you tell that to aizen-sama. Since your're in here too Sayuri-san, you explain it to both sou-taicho and aizen that this is a dare.I'm so evil(grins)Anyway, shiro-san is so cute^/^. I can imagine him hugging the stuff penguin cutely)XD:"

**Jushiro**: This isn't for real, right? And at least they'll know it's a dare...okay, off I go.

**Sayuri**: *reaches Head Captain before Jushiro* Hey, Head Captain, Jushiro's got a dare. It's something of a New Year's joke.

**Head Captain**: What dare and what joke?

**Sayuri**: You'll see. *flash steps off to Aizen* Hey Aizen! Jushiro's coming over here because of a dare.

**Aizen**: I presume it was your dare?

**Sayuri**: Nope, a reviewer's.

**Aizen:** Really? Ah, this will be fun.

**Jushiro** (at 1st Division's office): Er, Head Captain Yamamoto, I'm going to join Aizen's group. Bye! *Flash steps off*

**Head Captain:** WHAT? How dare you even suggest such a thi—wait, he's gone. Maybe this is the dare Sayuri was talking about.

*Hueco Mundo*

**Jushiro**: Aizen, I've decided to join your group.

**Aizen**: *Hm, this must be the dare.* Excellent, you were one of the oldest and strongest captains in the Soul Society. It's nice to have you join.

**Jushiro**: Wait, hang on a moment! This is all a-

**Aizen**: Show him to his room, Gin.

**Gin**: It's this way. C'mon, Jushiro. Ya coming?

*Soul Society*

**Sayuri**: We can't stop the show now. I'll have to bring the dares to Jushiro. *Flash steps to Hueco Mundo*

**Sayuri**: Hey Gin, where's Jushiro?

**Gin**: Oh, hiya Sayuri ^^ I'll lead you to his room.

**Sayuri**: Hi Jushiro! Here's your next dare-

**Jushiro**: Are you kidding? Here I'm stuck in Hueco Mundo with Aizen AND the Head Captain thinking that I'm joining Aizen's group. And you're giving me dares?

**Sayuri**: Remember that we're still on the show. Here's our next one from The Fly**i****n****g **L**i**o**n:**

"I no longer run, i fly! (Random) okay ukitake, as a reward for giving rangiku and halibel their massages i give you a pikachu. he's harmless, don't worry. also i must ask, did you enjoy giving rangiku & halibel their massagess?"

Here's the pikachu.

**Jushiro**: *runs away and hides in a corner* What is that creature?

**Pikachu**: Pika pika! ^^

**Sayuri**: Hehe, **The Flying Lion** said he's harmless. Come on, pick him up.

**Jushiro**: Awww, you're so cute. *Picks up Pikachu*

**Pikachu: **: : Pika! *shocks Jushiro*

**Jushiro**: AHHHHHH!

**Sayuri**: Oops, forgot to warn you that he doesn't like being called cute *evil grin*

**Jushiro: **…

**Sayuri**: Hey, your hair's black.

**Jushiro**: Yeah, with ASHES.

**Sayuri**: Oh. Hehe. Anyway, answer the question.

**Jushiro**: *sigh* No, I most definitely DID NOT enjoy giving those massages.

**Sayuri**: You sure?

**Jushiro**:*glares*

**Sayuri**: Just making sure. Wait, where are you going?

**Jushiro**: I have an idea. *disappears into the many corridors of Hueco Mundo with Pikachu*

**Sayuri**: ...did I just see an evil grin on Jushiro?

*In front of Aizen*

**Jushiro**: Hey, Aizen. Look at this! *plops Pikachu on Aizen's lap*

**Aizen: **What is this yellow creature? *strokes head* He is rather cute.

**Pikachu**: *what is wrong with these stupid humans? I AM NOT CUTE!* PIKA!

*Fifteen minutes later*

**Jushiro**: Yay, I'm back in the Soul Society!

**Head Captain**: I cannot believe you agreed to do such a prank. However, I will let you off for having destroyed about a third of Hueco Mundo.

**Sayuri**: And seriously injuring Aizen.

**Head Captain**: Oh really? How about the other two traitors?

**Jushiro**: Pretty much everyone in the general vicinity got electrocuted except for Gin. Pikachu liked him.

**Head Captain**: What a strange animal, picking the creepiest soul reaper ever seen.

**Sayuri**: He's not creepy!

**Jushiro**: *sigh* Come on, let's get back to the studio.

*Studio*

**Sayuri**: Okay, next one from **GazelleBigFan**:

"lol. Ukitake is so KAWAII...XD! I love you Ukitake-san. I've got four questions for you.

-Do you give byakuya candies when he was a child?how many?Can you give them to me? I'll give you hitsugaya's photos when he was a child if you do.

-how did you become a taicho when you have an illness?

And a dare

-Tell soifon that you did the prank on her and you will do another prank on her again.

Admire those photos if you don't give them back to me.I love shiro-chan.

Thankies ^-^"

**Jushiro**: Thanks ^^ Yes, I gave Byakuya candy too! Hmm, I'm not sure how many. Maybe a thousand if you count the small ones. *digs in haori and pulls out armful of assorted candies, manju, and sweets* Here you go! Thanks for the photos, Toshiro was even cuter when he was a kid ^^

Oh, and I took the captain's test. No one really minded my illness because I could still fight and was strong enough in terms of power level.

**Sayuri**: No offense, but you sound like a really creepy old guy when you talk about Toshiro.

**Jushiro**: Hey!

**Sayuri**: *giggle* Okay, let's go find Soifon.

*2nd Division*

**Jushiro**: Hi, Soifon.

**Soifon**: What brings you here, Captain Ukitake?

**Jushiro**: Um...I was the one who did the prank on you. And I'll be doing another one in the future, too. *escapes*

**Soifon**: What prank? *realization* WHAT! JUSHIRO!

**Jushiro**: *wipes sweat* whew. I'd better stay away from Soifon.

**Sayuri**: Let's get this done quickly so you can hide. This one's from **IdentifiedLuna1998**:

"Ukitake, If you younger, stronger, and much fit, what will you do everyday besides doing paperworks? If you hit all the captains (Toshiro too and no offense) with a wooden chair, you'll get 100.000 yen**"**

**Jushiro**: I'd probably walk around the entire Soul Society and hang out with my friends. It would be really nice if I could do that...it's been a very long while.

A wooden chair? Okay, got it!

**Sayuri**: O.o How come you don't have any complaints?

**Jushiro**: *produces retractable keychain with mini wooden chair attached*

**Sayuri**: Where did you get that?

**Jushiro**: In the World of the Living.

**Sayuri**: ...I suppose that counts as a wooden chair.

*****Captain's meeting*

**Head Captain: **Where is the captain of Squad 13?

*Jushiro opens the door and is invisible using Bakudo (sorry, forgot which one! XD)*

**Everyone else**: ?

**Jushiro**: *whips out keychain and extends wooden chair by throwing it, successfully hitting every one of the captains*

**Everyone**: O.O

**Toshiro**: ...did anyone else just get stung by a chair-shaped wasp?

**Kenpachi**: I saw something fly by, but I didn't feel anything.

**Head Captain**: All things in the universe turn to ashes, Ryuujin Jakka!

**Jushiro**: Uh-oh...*escapes back to studio*

**Jushiro: **Okay, there, I did the dare!

**Sayuri**: Sounds like half the 1st division barracks just burned down.

**Jushiro**: That's not my fault!

**Sayuri**: No need to get all defensive. You can get a break now because there's truths coming up! ^^ Okay, one from **Flirty Angel****:**

"Hi, me again ok, check it

I really support the under dogs, no offense.

So here's my question do you ever feel like you are underestimated by your friends?

Personally i don't think you get enough of the lime light can you dig it?

Alright then chow!

Flirty Angel.**"**

**Jushiro**: Hi again! Sometimes I feel like I'm underestimated, but it's rare and usually because of my disease. My close friends know the real extent of my power. I don't really like getting a lot of attention, but sometimes after a long period of solitude at my manor it's nice to be admired.

Sayuri: You're actually really strong, I know from experience. Anyway, next truth from **Kiwi-kiwi-kii**:

"Hi! Oh wow ... Some of these questions and dares are really ...um, interesting...! Well, I'm glad Ukitake-taicho liked the stuffed penguin plushy! :D So now, I just want to ask...

How would you feel if Ichigo and Rukia dated?"

**Jushiro**: Hey there Kiwi! Yes, I really like the stuffed penguin *pulls out rather dirty + ruffled stuffed penguin* See? Isn't he cute? ^^ Oh, right, the question. I think Ichigo's a dependable and good man, so I trust him enough to let him date Rukia. In my opinion, they complement each other very well.

**Sayuri**: Ironically, your next dare from **Shinitzue** is related**:**

"wow look at all of these people daring my little Ukitake into doing things he doesn't like. Here Uki I made you a chocolate cake to make you feel better. Also just for fun I have a dare for you. I dare you to kiss Rukia. Hehe see not so bad and that cake will cheer you up after you do the dare."

**Jushiro**: Ooh, cake! Thank you ^^ *reads dare* Oh no...*sigh* Best get it over with when Ichigo's not around.

*At 13th division*

**Jushiro**: Hi there, Rukia!

**Rukia**: Oh, hello, Captain! I've got some special tea for you-

**Jushiro**: *kisses Rukia on the cheek*

**Rukia**: *turns red* Captain?

**Jushiro**: *accepts tea* thank you very much, Rukia! *disappears*

**Rukia**: *faints*

*Studio*

**Jushiro**: Well, that was easy. That is, compared to the other dares...

**Sayuri**: *yawns* I'm tired. That's all for this session.

**Author**: *pokes head in door* I must be crazy for updating twice in a week. See you guys next time!

**Sayuri**: Yeah, see you next ti—wait, why's the author here?

**Author**: *swish*

**Sayuri**: Since when could the author do flash step too?

**Jushiro: **Who cares, let's go home. *snore*

**Sayuri**: Looks like I'll have to carry you home again...*snore*


	7. Session 6

**AN: One of the reasons this chapter was so late is because one of my family members has just been diagnosed with cancer. I'm sorry but please try to understand. And this chapter also might not be that funny but...again, I'm sorry.  
**

**And thanks to all who support and read this story!**

**

* * *

****Session Six**

**Sayuri**: Hi everybody...*yawn*

**Jushiro**: Hope you're doing well...*cough* *yawn*

**Pikachu**: *on Jushiro's lap* Pika!

**Sayuri**: I feel pathetic. How long did we sleep?

**Jushiro**: No idea. It must have been a really, really long time because I hear a lot of angry screaming voices.

**Sayuri**: Then we better get back to it as soon as possible! *picks paper from large stack* Okay, it's from **Colleen Sotac:**

"well i tried not to make it too bad ^^' kay so now you have to...slow-dance with kenpachi :D i dont care how you do it but you have to take him out to something romantic and end the night with a cute slow-dance 3 good luck!"

**Jushiro**: *sigh* Why Kenpachi? Why couldn't it have been someone else like R-*covers mouth*

**Sayuri**: You were totally going to say Rukia, weren't you?

**Jushiro**: No, I wasn't!

**Sayuri**: Probably Retsu then. Who else would you have preferred?

**Jushiro**: *thinks hard* Um, maybe S—never mind, bye! *goes off to find Kenpachi*

**Sayuri**: Whose name starts with an S? Ah well, I wonder if Kenpachi's gonna kill him.

*Squad 11*

**Jushiro**: Kenpachi, what's your idea of romantic?

**Kenpachi**: Why ask me? You shoulda asked someone like Shunsui, he'd know.

**Jushiro**: Well—I was dared to take you out somewhere romantic and then slow-dance.

**Kenpachi**: Really? Actually, it'd be romantic if you challenged me to a good fight.

**Jushiro**: ...you have to be joking.

**Kenpachi**: Nope.

**Jushiro**: Fine then...but first, I would to like to declare I am not responsible for any damages this romantic fight may cause. Okay, Kenpachi, I challenge you to a fight!

**Kenpachi**: *huge crazy evil grin*

*Three hours later*

**Kenpachi**: Look at all the people waving and yelling at us up there—think they want us to stop?

**Jushiro**: Er, yes, most definitely.

**Kenpachi**: Then let's pick up this fight another time. You've gotta do that slow-dance thing for your dare, remember?

**Jushiro**: *droops* Oh, yes, there's no way I could forget that. Er, Kenpachi, do you know how to slow-dance?

**Kenpachi**: Wait, it's with me?

**Jushiro**: Yes, who else?

**Kenpachi**: Uh, no way.

**Jushiro**: But I have to!

**Kenpachi**: I wouldn't mind. But Yachiru here's going to bite your head off if you do.

**Yachiru**: *pops up* Yay, a fight!

**Jushiro**: *backs up slowly* Okay, I guess I won't be able to do this...sorry reviewer! *flees*

*Studio*

**Sayuri**: Jushiro, I'm very disappointed in you.

**Jushiro**: I know already, okay? But I couldn't!

**Sayuri**: Oi, you're a captain and Yachiru's a lieutenant.

**Jushiro**: But she's scary when it comes to Kenpachi!

**Sayuri**: *sigh* Whatever. Next one from **FS2011 the real one:  
**  
"Once again, another awesome chapter! I loved all the funny expressions that jyuu-chan made! I could imagine him just collapsing out of shock at the very end! .. Teehee! Ah well, it's your fault for being so cuddly and adorable! In any case, I have another dare! 0.o I want... jyuu-chan to Cross-dress so well that when he goes to see Yamamoto (which he shall :) ), the oji-san will actually mistake him for a girl!

Forgive me for this dare, Jyuu-chan! but you looks so adorable when embarassed!"

**Jushiro**: Adorable? Er...thanks I guess ^^ Cross-dressing doesn't seem as bad as kissing Rukia was...

**Sayuri**: *produces whole outfit even with frilly skirt* Okay, here you go.

**Jushiro**: Okay, maybe it is just as bad.

*1st division*

**Jushiro**: Hi, Head Captain!

**Head Captain**: *blinks* Do I know you? Your reiatsu feels like Captain Ukitake but you're obviously a girl.

**Lieutenant Sasakibe**: A pretty one, at that.

**Bunch of men who happen to be in the office**: You're so cute and pretty! Will you go out with me? Please?

**Jushiro**: *turns totally red* B-bye!

*Studio*

**Jushiro**: That was TOTALLY embarrassing. Worse than kissing Rukia! And I got called "pretty"!

**Sayuri**: Hehe. You would've been good as a girl. Now from **fayfan:**

"OMG I LOVE THIS FIC! XD Please update soon! X3 Now, I have a dare:

I dare the awesome/hot/smart Jūshiro Ukitake to go over to Ishida's father's hospital as a Shinigami (Soul Reaper) and request an appointment by saying, "Hello, Quincy! I would like to see if you could tell me if there are any new findings on how to get rid of a dead man's permenant case of tuberculosis!" in a British accent! X3 Anyway, AWESOME FIC! X3**"**

**Jushiro**: Easy as pie.

*Hospital*

**Ryuuken Ishida**: Why are you, a captain, in my hospital? *takes out a cigarette and lights it*

**Jushiro**: *coughs from smoke* Hello, Quincy! I would like to see if you could tell me if there are any new findings on how to get rid of a dead man's permanent case of tuberculosis!

**Ryuuken**: Excuse me?

**Jushiro**: It was a dare, sorry.

**Ryuuken**: Am I correct in saying you have tuberculosis?

**Jushiro**: Why, yes! You must be a really good doctor!

**Ryuuken**: No, I just guessed from what you said. In response to your question, there are no new findings as no one wants to provide funding for a project that is virtually impossible in this world.

**Jushiro**: *so complicated!* Okay, thanks for your time anyway.

**Ryuuken**: Not so fast. I have my own research, you know. *grabs Jushiro and subjects him to a bunch of experiments*

**Jushiro**: NOOOOOOOOOO!

*Back in the studio*

**Jushiro**: I want to die. *groans* But I can see where Uryu gets his brains from.

**Sayuri**: And his tongue...and his good looks. :3 Okay, from **nickki5 **you have a question:

"hi there! love the chapters you made so far! :-) if you are stuck in a island, what sould you do? A. yell intil your guts bleed out. B. make a boat C. look for anything that might help you D. just stand there, intil you die!"

**Jushiro**: Hm, I would make a boat. But if I was really stuck on an island, I'd just use flash step to travel to civilization.

**Sayuri**: Jushiro, you're no fun! The whole point of being stuck on an island is that you can't get off it! **fayfan's **got something for you again:

"ROFLAMO still love this fic! XD Will my first dare be in the next story? :3 Anyway, I have another dare for you... I dare Ukitake to drink a ton of caffeinated tea and get a sugar rush from it, and then wreak havoc in the entire Soul Society! X3 Mua ha ha! (just kidding!) :)"

**Jushiro**: *gulp gulp gulp* Nope, no sugar rush yet...oh wait. *flash steps to Soul Society*

*KABOOM*

**Jushiro**: Er, sorry about that. I just drank tea and...you know, things happen. Like when you get constipation and you have to go to the bathroom really bad and...never mind.

**Everyone**: O.O

*Studio*

**Sayuri**: Nice job. You destroyed not only all the division barracks but also severely injured almost everyone in the Soul Society. *evil chuckle*

**Jushiro**: *shivers* Just whose side are you on? And it wasn't all my fault, Pikachu went crazy too!

**Sayuri:** You must have transferred craziness to Pikachu. Okay, **The Flying Lion** has something for you:

"Well looks like Pikachu was useful! anyways,i have one question: you getting along with Pikachu?

and i have a dare! you must hypnotise Ichigo and Rukia to dress as Batman and Robin and go out in Karakura town and fight crime!"

**Jushiro**: ^^ Yup, I'm getting along just fine with Pikachu! He's really cu—I mean, everything's fine.

*World of the Living*

**Hypnotizer hired by Jushiro**: There, all done!

**Jushiro**: Thank you very much. Now, Ichigo and Rukia, go out to Karakura Town and fight crime!

**Ichigo and Rukia (dressed up as Batman and Robin)**: We will fight!

*Few hours later*

**Random Karakura Town inhabitant: **OMG, it's Batman and Robin! For real!

**Another random bystander: **You're right, it is!

**Police**: We have to get in contact with them!

**News**: Hurry, videotape them smashing up that bad guy over there! This is history!

**Keigo**: *watching TV* Hey, Mizuiro, don't they look like Ichigo and Rukia a little bit?

**Mizuiro**: Nah, you must have imagined that.

*Back at the studio*

**Jushiro**: Er, are you sure it was okay to leave them like that?

**Sayuri**: Eh, who cares. It'll be fine. After all, they're only destroying the bad guys, right?

**Jushiro**: What happens when all the bad guys are gone?

**Sayuri**: That never happens. Don't you read cartoons?

**Jushiro**: ...I'm confused.

**Sayuri**: About what? The fact that you're a cartoon character too?

**Jushiro**: I'm a **what**?

**Sayuri**: Nothing. Moving on to **Justalittlebatty13:**

"Jyuu-chan, I dare you to go dye Toshiro's hair pink. You must video tape his reaction and show it to Yamamoto.**"**

**Jushiro**: Toshiro with pink hair? Aww, so cute but we won't both have white hair any more...:(

**Sayuri**: Jushiro, you're starting to sound like a pedophile. And a creepy one at that.

*****Toshiro's barracks*

**Jushiro**: *He's so cute when he's sleeping! Awwwwwww!* *Quickly sprays Toshiro's hair with pink permanent dye and places invisible camera obtained from author*

*Morning*

**Toshiro**: AHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL!

**Rangiku**: *pokes head in* Is something wrong, Captain?

**Toshiro**: YOU DID THIS TO MY HAIR, DIDN'T YOU?

**Rangiku**: Did what to your-hahahaha! *literally rolls on the floor laughing* I'm gonna die! This is just too hilarious!

**Toshiro**: I will kill whoever did this to me. **Bankai!**

*1st division*

**Head Captain: **Pink hair does not seem ill with Captain Hitsugaya.

**Jushiro**: I think it's really cute!

**Lieutenant Sasakibe: **...are you sure you're not gay? Anyway, better run before he catches you. I just felt him initiate Bankai. Look, it's snowing too. You know what that means.

**Jushiro**: Yeah. That he's so furious the weather's getting affected...um, see you later!

*Studio*

**Sayuri**: Good job, Jushiro!

**Jushiro**: But now Shiro-kun's mad at me...:'(

**Sayuri**: He'll get over it. You've only got one more left, Jushiro, no crying now! It's from **i****c****e ****de****v****i****l c****a****t ****d****e****m****o****n: **

"Ahh... Poor Ukitake-taichou!

Oh well! Kay, here's a "simple" dare for ya!

Steal every captains' (including sou-taichou-san) zanpakuto! Then throw em in a dumpster!

Later, reveal that you were the one that did it!

Good luck!

Awesome story SayurixGin!"

**Jushiro**: I'm going to be nearly killed again, right?

**Sayuri**: Just do it and I'll give you some candy.

**Jushiro**: What kind of bribe is that for a full-grown man? But still, I guess it's worth it. *Flash steps away*

**Jushiro**: *whispers* Okay, Pikachu, go steal everyone's Zanpakuto.

**Pikachu: **Pika? (Why?)

**Jushiro**: If you do, I'll let you electrocute anyone you want.

**Pikachu**: Pika pika! (Okay!)

*Hour later*

**Pikachu: **Pikaaa...(I'm tired...)

**Jushiro**: Good job Pikachu! *Throws Zanpakuto into the dumpster attached with a note saying "I did this—Jushiro."* Uh oh, here comes a bunch of soul reapers. Let's go, Pikachu.

*Studio*

**Jushiro**: That's it, right?

**Sayuri**: Yup.

**Jushiro**: So, who did you want to electrocute, Pikachu?

**Pikachu**: *jumps into Sayuri's arms* PIKA!

*Gigantic lightning flash later*

**Sayuri**: Why me...Pikachu?

**Jushiro**: Bad Pikachu!

**Pikachu**: ^^


End file.
